OK, it is time to make those resolutions for 2017.
As the new year approached, I was thinking about the “standard” resolutions most of us make: lose weight, stop smoking, work out more, improve your relationships. But what if, instead of making a resolution, we got a do-over? What are the differences in a resolution vs. a do-over?
Here are some ideas that you might want to think about:
A do-over, by its very nature, involves forgiving and forgetting, without shaming. A resolution involves remembering past failures and trying to move forward one more time.
A fresh start in a do-over means that you get a chance to do it right without beating up yourself or others with a “woulda, coulda, shoulda.” A resolution makes you take an inventory of all your past failures that somehow will work out differently this year.
A do-over implies a clean slate, minus anger over what once went wrong. This is especially important when it comes to relationships. It makes room for doing things in a different way without low expectations and anger that “this can’t possibly work”.
Forgiveness is mandatory in a do-over – forgiving yourself as well as others for past disappointments whatever they may be.
Forgetting on purpose is also mandatory in a do-over. That means you can’t allow yourself to become discouraged about the future based on what happened in the past. It requires discipline and a leap of faith that you have a fresh start just waiting for you.
To show you how this works, let me tell you about a do-over my family recently experienced.
My son was in town, which was the first time all of us were together in more than a year. We were very excited about seeing a performance downtown that was very expensive. In fact, it was part of a Christmas present we gave each other.
Unfortunately, while en route to the show one of us became very ill. We made a group decision to miss it. It just wouldn’t have been the same had only some of us stayed behind to watch the performance. We were so disappointed!
The next morning, we had the idea that once all of us were healthy again, we would go for a do-over. Amazingly, we were able to get tickets for a performance scheduled before my son had to leave town.
Sure we had to pay more, but we looked at it as an “investment” in our family. Sometimes, certainly not always, money really doesn’t matter.
Most importantly, we decided not to talk about that first bad experience, but to just move forward. We had a fabulous time! Was it worth the price? Absolutely!
My overall point is that problems that can be solved by money are usually easier than problems involving long-standing resentments, recovering from shame, or healing emotionally, physically and spiritually.
Do-overs, more than resolutions, have a strong sense of hope and optimism at the core. You may need support from others in a do-over just as you might in a resolution. Taking care of yourself while moving forward is extremely important!
Best wishes for 2017! As always, if you want to make an appointment, please call me at 847-827-7639.